I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
