Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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