Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
