Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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