I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
