Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
