Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
