I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
