either way he was missing a nipple.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize