sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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