Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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