I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
