he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
