If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Buhtt sex?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
