did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize