I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
