i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
