Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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