Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
