We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
