Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
