like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
