If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
