Jerry, you need to find god
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
