it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
