That's intense
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
