So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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