I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
