Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
