My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
