Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
