did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize