So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
