She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
