me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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