if you like me you must not know who I am
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
