omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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