Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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