I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
