She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
My feet surprised me
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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