dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
