I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
