You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
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