I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
