It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Porn is love you can see.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
