My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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