Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
