so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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