Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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