Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I want you more than these girls want KFC
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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