i already hear my dad disowning me
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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