You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
