new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
