Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
