The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
