he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
