Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
