Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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